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||October 4, 2001|| 5:50 a.m.

If I had a dollar for every one of Thomas' flag drawings I have laying around, I would be rich. He draws them, hangs them on the refrigerator, gives them to anyone who will take them or tucks them away...for safe keeping. He's become quite patriotic lately. He doesn't know much about what is going on. Only that some very bad people did some very bad things and that it involved an airplane. He understands that hanging up a flag or wearing a ribbon is one way to support his country. He knows that supporting your country means that you are proud of where you come from. Other than that he doesn't know anything about the 'Attack on America'. But...I think knowing to be proud of your country and supporting it is enough, don't you?
I hit a deer with our new van yesterday. Yikes! I've been very fortunate over the years. I was born in a big city near Detroit, but when I was five my parents decided they didn't want to raise their children in the city. They packed all five us up in their brown station wagon (with the wood on the side) and moved us "up north". We moved from the city to the middle of nowhere. Living in the country has many advantages, but one of the disadvantages is hitting deer. Almost everyone I know has hit at least one, and I think most of my siblings have hit more than one. I couldn't have hit one as a teenager, driving a clunker. I had to wait until we owned a nice vehicle and do it then! Ugh. Anyway, I was driving Thomas to school when it happened. Right on the highway, cars everywhere. Any guesses as to how many people stopped? NONE. Everyone drove by slowly but no one stopped. I was off the wrong side of the road, facing the wrong direction in a smashed up van with four kids and no one saw a need to stop and see if we were okay. Luckily, it's very drivable. Mark took it in to get an estimate on the repairs. I only did $3300.00 worth of damage. Doh!
I've missed reading The Junklog. Maybe all of you should pop over and send a friendly email. Make sure and note that SEPTEMBER IS OVER!
I recieved a couple more submissions to The WhyILog. and Blog In A Box. Go check 'em out.

||September 28, 2001|| 8:45 p.m. I've been bad about daily posts AGAIN. I'm sorry, please don't take it personally.
New to The WhyILog: Tether.

||September 24, 2001|| 10:26 a.m.
What do rain, jammies, couch, and football all have in common? They are all words that can be used to describe my life yesterday. Hee hee. I love Fall in Michigan but thank God every day isn't Sunday. There is an unspoken rule around our house that it's okay to do absolutely nothing if it's Sunday, if it's Fall/Winter, and if it happens to be football season.
The day wasn't a total loss. My morning was pretty productive. I got Thomas' room clean enough to walk through and his closet organized and sorted. My refrigerator got a much needed cleaning, the raw egg in the door's shelves was finally hard enough to simply wipe out so I figured it was time. I don't like to clean out the refrigerator, the only job I dislike more is cleaning the bathroom slash toilet.
I wouldn't consider my lazy afternoon a total loss either. It was a well deserved break. I snuggled with my boys, read more childrens books than I care to admit to, and enjoyed a toasty warm house filled with the scent of Mark baking his famous from scratch carrot cake. It produces a warm, satisfying aroma that can be best described as comfy.
One thing that I didn't do much of is watch the news. I guess I just needed a break. A break from the sadness. A break from the feelings of helplessness. A break from the fear it creates. The feelings are always there though, whether I'm watching the news or not. Those feelings didn't go away because I didn't watch the news...they just took a back seat to the feeling of disappointment I felt while watching the Detroit Lions lose miserably. (Psssst. Hey Dawn!!! Your team SUCKS!!)
I know...these are just a bunch of random, scattered thoughts but, I've never been accused of having deep thoughts, so if deep is what you're looking for, let me direct you to:

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy. "I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it."
98 Deep Thoughts. "When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?"
Deep Thoughts and other Rubbish. "Why does Queen Elizabeth, who has people to put on her make-up, do her hair, and needs no cash or identification carry a handbag?"

*For anyone who read the last entry and thinks I'm some kind of gay-basher...she really is a lesbian, the condom comment was just for my own sick need to embarrass her. :)

||September 18, 2001|| 10:55 a.m.
I've been dumbfounded as to what to post here. It's hard to post normally as if nothing has changed when, obviously, so much has. But, I've decided to try. If my entries seem inappropriate I am sorry. The way I look at it is if I can make one person smile and someone else thinks my posts are unfitting, then I'm even. Right? So here goes nothing.
This is a true story, it happened at dinner time, last Monday night.
The rest of the family all have those hand held two-way phones and although we don't have one, I sure enjoy the heck out of them when someone comes over that does. My mother in law came over and while she was here Mark's sister two-wayed his mom to ask about how to cook a chicken or something. When they finished talking I took the phone and paged her to talk. The conversation went almost word for word as follows:
Tracy:Happy Birthday you old bag.
Me:Thanks. What are you doing?
Tracy:Grocery shopping.
Me:Right now? You're in the grocery store right now?
Tracy:Yeah, why?
About this time, the wheels started turning and all kinds of naughty stuff came to mind but I settled with < putting phone close to mouth and screaming >
Tracy:Hahahaha...You're such an ass.
Did she just call me an ass? Hmmm...< again with the phone near my mouth and screaming >
Me:Ok, ok. okaaaaaay.
Tracy:I gotta go, I'm at the check-out. I'll talk to you when I get home.
Did she say check-out? She's in line at the checkout? I'm sure that's what she said. < one last to mouth, screaming >
Tracy: < laughing hysterically > I can't take you people anywhere can I?
Hmmm..that doesn't read nearly as funny as it was. You'll just have to trust was.
I haven't had much of a chance to surf the internet lately so you have to settle with:
New to The Whyilog: Bummin' Around

||September 15, 2001|| 4:13 p.m.
I'm having some computer/ISP problems...I'll be back as soon as possible. (I promise it's not just me!)

||September 12, 2001|| 12:10 p.m.
As I sat at the table this morning enjoying my quiet time, slowly sipping my first cup of coffee a thought occurred to me. I wondered how many people had experienced this exact type of morning yesterday, unaware that life as we know it was about to be forever changed. My thoughts and opinions on the "Attack on America" are personal, but I will share with you a few things I learned yesterday:

  • I have re-learned that life is precious and should never be taken for granted. I learned this lesson years ago, but yesterday's events reinforced it.
  • I learned that even though I tire easily of fighting with the boys over the remote, I am very lucky to have my children near me (and for that matter, a remote to fight over).
  • I learned that my house is not only my home, but a place where I feel safe and secure.
  • I learned that saying "wait until tomorrow" can be a mistake, who knows how many tomorrows there will be.
  • I learned that either I didn't pay close enough attention in history class to learn about terrorism or it's just the simple fact that there is an evilness in this world that I will never, in my lifetime, come close to understanding.
  • I learned that Dan Rather doesn't tire easily.
  • I learned that people can band together in a time of crisis. This was proven all over our nation from small communities like mine with all-night prayer services and support groups, to large cities where volunteers stood in line for hours wanting to give blood.
  • Most importantly, I learned that I am very lucky. I have seen my share of rough times, and have had what I feel is a great amount of bad luck, but I am alive. I have a husband who adores me (the feeling is mutual), 3 beautiful healthy boys, an extended family that would do anything for me, a roof over my head, and a few friends that I can (and do) depend on. All this and still enough faith in God and in our country, to know that we will all pull through this together. As a nation.

"T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear and Grace, my fears relieved. How precious did that Grace appear...the hour I first believed. Through many dangers, toils and snares...we have already come. T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far...and Grace will lead us home."

||September 11, 2001|| 10:00 a.m.
Silence. I had an entry ready but now nothing seems cute, or funny, or witty, or smart. So I'll just say nothing at all.

||September 10, 2001|| 5:15 p.m.
Mischievous: meaning; "Naughtily or annoyingly playful, badly behaved". Our precious middle son, Gabe, has recently been promoted from the simple nickname of "Satan's spawn" to a more fitting "Sneaky Satan's spawn" (no, we don't call him this name outloud). It's a title he is most deserving of. Upon meeting and getting to know him, people always comment on the fact that he seems "oh-so sweet and precious". Yeah..."seems" is the key word. Now on top of being bad he's added sneaky to the mixture making my life, at times, a living hell. For example, one day last week Thomas forgot his lunch box at school. The next morning I knew that I would have to go into his classroom to pack his lunch so I had grandma come over and watch the kids so I wouldn't have to drag all of them in. When I got back home (at 8:30) she said "they're all still asleep". < gasp > I can understand Jackson and Maddy sleeping in this late, but I knew that unless Gabe was sick, he wouldn't still be sleeping. So I went into my room where he had been sleeping (I know-bad, bad, bad) only to find him in my closet with the rubber stamps, markers, stickers etc. Ugh! The conversation went something like this:
Me:"Gabe...what the hell are you doing?"
Me:"What do you mean nothing!? How long have you been up?"
Gabe:"Since this morning."
Me:"Why didn't you go out in the other room with grandma?"
Me:"You do this again Gabe and I swear I'll, I'll...Ugh...Just GET OUT!!"
Gabe:(very sweetly)Okay, okaaaaay.
It's to the point now where if I don't see him for more than five minutes, he's into something (if he's been in the bathroom for more than two it means trouble). He's learned how to very slickly walk by the counter and grab something he's not supposed to have and keep right on walking. Chapstick for instance. Or the car keys. Or an ink pen. The list goes on and on... The other day there was a tampon, it's wrapper, and the "cardboard applicator" on the floor in the playroom where he'd been playing. I didn't say a word, just scooped it up and threw it away. If I find more, I'll know that he's learned that if you take it out of it's package and hit it on the bottom hard it will cause the tampon to project a rocket. God help me!
Okay...when you're done thinking "Heehee better her than me"...check out these:

The Original Poop Moose. "These babies are handcrafted works of art made by a guy who really knows his...uh, M & M's."
And speaking of M & M's...Take the M & M Factory Tour. "Billions and billions of years ago, life as we know it arose from this primordial chocolate ooze... "
And...speaking of moose...What do you call a moose and his brother? "It has been a hot debate for many years as to what the correct plural form for "moose" is. Should it follow the pattern of one goose, two geese, and become one moose, two meese"?

||September 9, 2001|| 10:10 a.m.
I won't waste your time today whining about how crappy I feel. I'll try not to mention that my throat hurts, I have no voice, or that my head feels like it's going to explode. < whine > I feel so yucky!
Today is the day that my mother-in-law will throw me a surprise birthday party. It's never a surpise. She does it for all of her kids on the Sunday nearest to their birthday which, for me, is today. So I'm going to take some Tylenol, lay around and practice my "omygosh I'm so surpised" look.
For your amusement, I'll send you to read Freedexter's fake AIM conversation. I have so had this same conversation before! (Only with a real person and, of course, different screen names). Make sure you check out Freedexter's Archives. If you've got some time and need a few lot of laughs, this is the place to go!!

||September 8, 2001|| 3:50 p.m.
Gabe experienced his first night away from home last night. He spent the night with Grandma, it was owed to him seeing as how Thomas spent the night there a couple of weeks ago. He called this morning and sounded like he was enjoying himself. He and Grandma are going to spend the day shopping. We've had a pretty quiet morning with him there and Mark at work...dare I say almost too quiet?! It took Jackson until almost 10:00 this morning to start walking around calling out "Bubba! Bubba?!"
< grinning > I'm sporting a new ISP. Probably sounds like no big deal to most of you, but to me it is a very big deal! It is so nice to be able to not only get online, but to stay online. Mark is the one who actually signed us up with the new provider, which is funny in itself. He doesn't use the computer often and doesn't really know much about it. Frankly, when it comes to the computer he has a very short fuse! I have to laugh when he's on it. I can hear the quiet (and slow) peck, peck, peck of the keys only to be followed by a "shit", "dammit", then a "SHAAAAARONNNNNNN!" Men...

||September 7, 2001|| 6:00 a.m.
My intentions upon my return to weblogging were to share with all of you the things that have been going on in my life for the month I was gone (which was supposed to be two weeks). As much as I like the whole weblogging thing, this was a much deserved (and appreciated) break.
I was going to share with you all of the details of our vacation with Grandma and the boys to the Upper Penninsula. I would have liked to explain, in detail, the expressions on their faces seeing the Mackinaw Bridge and the Soo Locks for the first time. It would have been fun telling you about all the "tourist-y" things we did, which included eating enough fudge to make us almost burst and realizing that it was no mystery why the "Mystery Spot" made Thomas and myself feel sick to our stomachs.
I was planning on sharing with you the feelings of fear and anxiety I was feeling at the thought of sending my oldest son off to Kindergarten, which has now turned into a feeling of pride. Not only an overwhelming pride in HIM for being courageous, but also in myself for letting him go. It wasn't an easy task, it's something that I deal with on a daily basis.
I was planning on ending my entry with a thank-you to all of you who waited for me...I didn't quit reading weblogs, just took a break from writing in my own.
These were my intentions... BUT NO!!! Instead I will be spending my first day back sharing what I consider to be an interesting bit of information. I may as well quote exactly what I recieved the other need mincing words.

"Congratulations! Your content has been recommended by! The content appears on the page titled: "Desperately Seeking the Sublime" and reads as follows: "Why I Log" Might win the award for ugliest site with the least effort, but don't let that scare you off. A fascinating collection of personal statements from webloggers--why they started, what they get out of it. With links to their logs and to others."

I'll admit here and now that I wasn't sure if I should be flattered or offended by this. Immediately I called my friend from The Junklog, fully knowing that if this were her weblog she would be this close to having a near breakdown over receiving an e-mail of this kind. (Even though her site's paleness was once compared to the whiteness of some guys thighs). She assured me that contents is what matters, it's not about what your site looks like.
As for the comment about the "least effort" only reaction is: "IT'S A WEBLOG!! This weblog is about my life, but it is not my life. My real life takes just about all of the effort I have to give, leaving little left over to put into things like this. I wonder if Catana (the columnist) realizes the effort it takes to be a stay-at-home mom, raising three sons ages 5 and under. I wonder if she gets up at 5:00 a.m. to start her day only to work her ass off until 11:00 p.m. then crash for 6 hours only to do it all over again. I wonder if she does 3 loads of laundry, 3 sinkfulls of dishes, makes 3 beds, vacuums her floors, sweeps, mops, dusts, cooks breakfast, lunch, and dinner for her family daily. Suppose she takes kids to appointments, nurses them when they are sick, makes sure they drink enough water and take their vitamins? I doubt she knows all it takes to teach children what they need to know to survive in this world, make sure that they have what it takes to be sincere, honest individuals with caring and loving hearts. All this AND the effort it takes to have a healthy and happy marriage, which I won't even start with here. I'm thinking that she doesn't KNOW the real meaning of effort, either that or her priorities are so very far off!
I guess if it were my personal weblog I would have probably taken it more personally, but The WhyILog is our weblog. It belongs to all who have contributed to it. So taking into consideration all of the information I decided to have a little fun with this. All of you who know me (and love me-heehee) run, don't walk over to Desperately Seeking the Sublime and leave a message on the board. Drop in and share your opinion...just be careful to not leave a link to your site, or YOU could be next!
Anyway...Thank you Backwash. If I've learned nothing else, I do know that recognition, whether positive or negative, is recognition! As number on the site meter just keeps going up and up...I can't help but believe that it less to do with my "lack of effort" and more to do with the fact that you were kind enough to mention me and my "ugly site" on your page.
On a much brighter note, I received an email from the beautiful soul BWG he created a link button for the "ugly and effortless" WhyILog (and also included a *boot* in the ass to help me get back to weblogging). I'll make his button, and some others avialable at The WhyILog at a later date.
As for all the things I have experienced during my absense, well...that will have to be saved for another day! But, my intentions are to get back to weblogging daily. Don't bet the farm on that, but I'm going to try!
Are you still here? Go on the link up there and voice your opinion on the efforts of the WhyILog (spread the word) it as a community!